Lessons in Riding Solo

I have now accumulated nearly two full years of living abroad, and along the way, I have been extremely lucky to have experienced some amazing opportunities. In my time living in Spain, both as a student and now as a fake adult, I have:

• Received the new year in two of the largest European cities
• Laughed at the size of the Mona Lisa
• Bathed in a Turkish bath house
• Touched the Berlin Wall
• Accidentally took the wrong train to Versailles

But in all that time, I had never once traveled completely alone. It was something that was always on my list of things to do in life, but for some reason (probably fear) I kept putting it off. When you’re living in Europe with Ryanair at your disposal, it’s easy to find people willing to travel with you. So when I found a cheap flight to Edinburgh on Iberia, I snagged it immediately. I had always wanted to go to Edinburgh but had put it off multiple times because it was so expensive (the pound hurts, y’all).

What I didn’t foresee was that I wouldn’t be able to convince anyone to come with me.

At first, I was furious. I wanted to take I solo trip when I was ready for it, not because I’m a loser with no friends. But as my trip grew closer, I realized that the time had come for me to solo trip. In church, they always talked about how your timing might not necessarily match up with God’s. I guess in this case, my life was going a way I didn’t even realize I was ready for.

I won’t lie: I was at peace about going on a solo trip, but the thought still scared me enormously. But nearly a month after my trip’s completion, I can’t even begin to describe what an incredibly amazing experience it was. In certain ways, I consider myself a seasoned traveler, with quite a bit of frequent flier miles to my name. Traveling solo, however, brought me some lessons I could have never expected. As they say, experience really is the best teacher.

1. How to stay safe

When I first told my mother I was traveling alone for three days, she naturally freaked out a bit. I had never been alone in a foreign country for that long…even in Spain, there was always someone I knew on the other side. At first, I brushed her off and attributed it to her usual mom panicking. But when I first arrived in Edinburgh, I realized she was right. Literally no one would know if something happened to me. I was in a foreign country, I had no friends or family in the city, and my phone was rendered useless once outside of Spain unless I connected to wifi. I never felt unsafe in Edinburgh, but I felt that I should still take extra precautions being alone. Each day, I sent my mom and a friend a general itinerary for my day. If anything changed throughout the course of the day, I would update them both to let them know what the new plan was. If i managed to snag some wifi (which I actively sought out…let’s be real here), I’d let them know where I was headed to from there and how long more or less I expected to be gone from my hostel. If I was going to go out with someone I had met, I would ensure my mother knew that I wasn’t alone. I felt much safer knowing that others knew my general movements if anything were to happen.

St Anthony’s Chapel…or what’s left of it.

2. Where your interests lie

I went to Edinburgh with a long list of about 1 thing I wanted to do: eat at the famed Elephant House, where JK Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book. This obviously vast list left some time to do some other exploring (read: Google to the rescue!). I went on a walking tour an hour after arriving to get a general sense of the city and what it has to offer. From there, I was able to form an itinerary for the rest of the weekend based on the things that most caught my attention as well as suggestions from my guide (thanks, Euan!). A lot of times, traveling with others means hitting up all the main tourist sites: cathedrals, museums, monuments, festivals. Here, I was able to build my trip based on the things I found interesting rather than what Trip Advisor deemed worthy. I skipped the National Museum in favor of the smaller Writer’s Museum. I opted out of the tour inside Edinburgh Castle to give myself more time to explore Arthur’s Seat and Holyrood Park. I wandered aimlessly down Edinburgh’s many closes to find small gardens, hidden courtyards, and cute cafes. Since I had no one to please, I built a trip based on things I liked. Along the way I discovered the things I love most about new cities: the food, the green spaces, pretty doorways, markets, and a killer view.

The crags are alive with the sound of music.

3. How to navigate

When you’re alone and you don’t have wifi, getting around in a new city may involve going back to prehistoric methods, also known as using a paper map. However, even maps can get confusing at times when you don’t know a place well, and you don’t have anyone to rely on if you have crappy navigation skills. I’ve been lucky in that I have a rather sharp sense of direction and a good visual memory, making it easy for me to learn how to get around. In a city like Edinburgh, with plenty of small closes that don’t even appear on maps (!), I also had to learn to work myself around using cardinal directions and a mental map of the city I committed to memory. Of course, you can ask for directions (more so if you speak the language…kind of) but I still found myself finding new ways of identifying where I was while wandering and calculating how far I had moved from my hostel.

Oh, Robertson’s Close, how wise you are.

4. How to make friends

The most obvious part of solo travel is that, of course, you travel alone. That means no friends. For me, this was probably the scariest part of traveling alone…who was I supposed to talk to if I saw something cool or even just eat meals with so I didn’t look like a loser sitting alone? I had never had to make friends in a real world setting before…I’ve always had school or the large expat community in Madrid. Being alone forced me to strike up conversations with people on tours, parks, and most prominently at my hostel. I purposely chose a 12-bed room so that I was forced to be around (a lot of) new people. That first night, everyone kept to their own bubble until I overheard two girls talking about how their next stop in their backpacking trip was Spain. Naturally, being the nosy freak I am, I asked where they were headed. Within fifteen minutes, all 12 of us were on the floor in our pajamas, swapping stories from our various adventures and where we were all headed to next. Hostels bring with them a rotating cast of characters, which provided me the opportunity to meet all sorts of fascinating people with a wide variety of stories in just two nights. And while I may never see most of them again, they all taught me that sometimes all you have to do is put yourself out there and just start talking.

Thank you to my adopted Danish parents for this picture.

5. How to take a good selfie

This sounds like a joke, but I promise it’s true. Traveling alone and without one of those totally-not-nerdy selfie sticks can make taking pictures difficult. When you’ve managed to make a few friends you can of course ask them to take your picture. However, sometimes you’ll find yourself completely alone or maybe too embarrassed to ask someone to take your photo. Selfies to the rescue! While in Edinburgh, I went a bit selfie crazy simply because I didn’t want to bother others in asking them to take my picture. Plus, talking on a superficial level here, they won’t know my angles as well as I do. I perfected my selfie taking skills, particularly when it came to natural lighting and chopping off bits of my forehead so I didn’t look like a five-head. And hey, a lot of times I got caught taking selfies, so people would offer to take pictures for me. Win-win!

Lesson 1: Wind is both friend and foe.

6. How to be alone with myself

The thought of being alone with nothing but my thoughts for company for three days was rather nerve-wracking, I have to admit. I tend to overthink and cause myself unnecessary stress and worry, and I wasn’t looking forward to potentially talking to myself. While I didn’t spend the full three days alone thanks to the friends I made, I also learned how to be comfortable with being alone for long stretches of time. There were certain times I even preferred it: a friend of mine had told me to hike up to Arthur’s Seat with friends, but I opted to go alone anyway. The stretches of time I spent alone, and especially those I spent in and around Holyrood Park, brought me an incredible sense of peace and contentment. Sitting at the very top of Arthur’s Seat and looking down on Edinburgh, I felt an incredible sense of wholeness and happiness. This had been my journey, done at my own pace and filled with what I wanted to see and do. I let my mind wander and think on whatever it wanted, while along the way I found peace within myself.

A Ukrainian girl made me do this.

In certain ways, Edinburgh was everything I expected. It has an old time feel to it, with its cobblestones and narrow alleyways. It has enough Harry Potter connections and pretty doorways to satisfy me. It even has a statue of the unicorn, the national animal (I’m not making this up). Ultimately, though, Edinburgh was a place for me to spend some time on myself and making my own trip. Completely on my own, I had to make my own adventures, memories, and selfies. That alone was worth suffering the exchange rate.

…or maybe I just got wiser because I rubbed David Hume’s big toe.